Happiness, a very common term denotes a very simple and at the same time a very complex and powerful subject. As per the Merriam Webster dictionary, ‘happiness’ is defined as ‘the state of being happy’ or ‘an experience that makes you happy’. That leads us to find out what does ‘happy’ mean then. Again, per the dictionary, the word ‘happy’ is defined as ‘feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc.’ Simple, though it may sound, happy or the state of being happy to have led to numerous research studies to find out what really makes human beings happy.

As Pascal said, “Man wishes to be happy and only wishes to be happy, and cannot wish not to be so.” As humans, we are naturally programmed to be happy citizens, but we spend the best years of our lives searching for happiness. We, as grown ups are actually a collection of experiences. The kind of experiences we go through goes a long way in determining our state of happiness or otherwise. With pleasant experiences, we are more likely to be happy. Conversely, if we are not as fortunate and have seen many hardships, tragedies, failures, and disappointments, we are more likely to go down on the happiness scale. None of us wakes up in the morning expecting the day to be a terrible one. All of us do want the day to be our best yet but that is not always the case. Difficult though it may be, it is so important that we make the right choice of being happy every day come what may.

There are ever increasing number of suicides and people affected by depression. As per the World Health Organization, (WHO), over 800,000 people die every year due to suicides. Suicide was the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds globally in 2012. Similarly, data on depression is equally alarming. WHO estimates about 350 million people across the world suffer from depression. Depression in its worst form is the leading cause of people committing suicides.

Happiness, being such a sought after subject, if you search on amazon.com, it would list down more than half a million results. There are books and other audiovisual aids that promise you happiness if you order anything from these listings. These listings are split into 7 habits, 5 secrets, 12 must-dos, etc. etc. The popularity of the subject can be further assessed from the fact that there are about eleven thousand more listings added by amazon.com every week to the list. There are over 47 million pages on the Internet talking about ‘over the counter medicines to get happy’. There are supposed to be about 120 million prescriptions for anti-depressants. As per one estimate, illegal drugs (supposed to bring happiness to people) are a US$ 400 billion business. The pursuit of happiness is such.

We think about events of the past to make us happy. We go into the nostalgia of past memories and try seeking happiness in them. How I loved relaxing in the winter sun when I was a kid. How much fun I had with my friends when we sneaked away to the nearby hill station without informing our parents. These memories may be cherished by us forever and bring a smile on our faces but the happiness is short lived. Similarly, we may think of future events that may bring happiness to us. Imagining about a future event such as living your retirement days in a lavish bungalow at a wonderful chosen location or driving a very expensive car may make you happy for some time but again such happiness is short lived. Sometimes we keep on waiting for big events to happen that we think will bring us happiness. We think we can be happy if we win a million dollars in the lottery. This, however, does not guarantee happiness. Research shows people winning lotteries when compared with those who have never won any lottery fared at similar levels of happiness. In fact, the majority of those winning lotteries had exhausted all the prize monies in about 5 years and were actually less happy than those who hadn’t won any lotteries.

Going on Facebook, very often you see links to find out how loving you are, how compatible you are with your partner, how honest and ethical you are, how motivated you are, what holds in store for you, etc. and then based on the scores, you so proudly share the results on your status page. What I, however, believe is that if your inner self is happy, you will be a better person at work, will have a much better relationship with your spouse/ partner, be a better parent, be more motivated, successful, etc. The key is to be happy within.

The real happiness what we always forget lies in the ‘present’. Nature has given us the ‘present’ of the ‘present’ which we most oft forget to care for. The present moment is what is in our control and this is the only time that we can spend towards our pursuit of happiness. This is the only time which can determine whether or not we will be happy or not. This is the only time which if spent in the right direction will not only bring happiness for the future but will also make the moments of pursuit happy as well. The present is where we persevere, put in our best efforts, work with a positive attitude, perform to our best capabilities which ultimately leads us to long term happiness. We may dream the best dreams but until we work towards the achievement of those dreams, the dreams would not see life. Mohammed Ali, the boxer has very aptly said, “The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.”

We should always make conscious efforts to be better than what we have been. The real benchmark is us ourselves. Many of us while going through our childhood photos and videos feel embarrassed at the way we looked like and the way we behaved in the past. This is because over time we believe that we look much better and behave much nicer in the present than what we were. Similar holds true for our inner self. Constant improvement and constantly raising the bar on ourselves is the real happiness.

For some people, the measure of happiness may be respected, for some fame, and for others, it could be wealth, power, education, well-being, etc. The parameters of happiness also differ from person to person and place to place. The same chocolate cake which brings a big smile on our faces when we are hungry may not interest us anymore once we’ve already had three slices of it. Sometimes, we do not relish the little things that bring us so much happiness that we are running after larger things which we think can bring us happiness. In the hustle bustle of life working 16-18 hours a day, we miss spending time with our lovely families, miss taking a walk in the garden, miss spending an evening with our childhood friends. The list is endless but these ‘present moments’ are what bring us happiness. The point I want to make is the perception, the mindset that we have towards life must change. I am not asking you to run away from your work responsibilities and spend time instead with family and friends but there has to be a balance and a limit to everything. We were made as human beings and not machines so why have we become so mechanical. Are the material satisfactions in life our only benchmark of happiness?

Many times, despite being accomplished in our lives, we are unhappy because our neighbors, friends, and relatives are happy and we as egoistic and jealous human beings cannot digest that. These negative thoughts have a cumulative effect. Once we walk the negative path, negative is what keeps coming back to us. One negative thought has the effect of multiplying into several other negative thoughts which can hamper our efficiency, demotivate us, adversely affect our performance, adversely affect our promotions, and remunerations, in turn adversely affect our relationships, etc. It all lies within us. It, therefore, is of utmost importance that we have to have a strong will power to ward off the negative thoughts as soon as they come to our minds. A study reveals that on any average day, an average human being typically gets about sixty thousand thoughts in his/ her mind. The choice is completely ours how many of these sixty thousand thoughts we want to be positive and happy or negative and depressing. We and not someone else can, should or need to decide whether we are going to be happy or sad on any day.

The key to happiness, therefore, is to keep on working towards your goals with dedication and a positive attitude. You will find that rather than you running after happiness, happiness itself finds you. Be the person who is a joy to be with. Be the person who brings positivity around whether it is your work, family, or friends.

I would like to leave you with powerful words by Dale Carnegie – “Remember happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.”

– Nalin Chandna